Beware, love isn’t lust and lust isn’t love

Beware, love isn’t lust and lust isn’t love - We soon discover that real-deal love is a lot more than jumping into bed with someone. It might look the way to go in the movies, but it could turn your life into a nightmare from a sexually transmitted infection or worse! Lust can end up like a Weapon of Mass Destruction. The way love is portrayed in our culture through books, TV shows, movies and sex shops to name a few, can be seen as yet another weapon of mass destruction. The high number of broken relationships is enough evidence that we’re off track. Lust eventually kills ya on the inside but real love flies you to the moon forever.

Getting the gold of real-deal love

Getting the gold of real-deal love ~ Remember this gem from the Work Manual: ‘Love is of God’ (1 John 4:7). The Big Fella’s love never fails. It works for me, and it can work for you. All the best, getting the gold. The Big Fella has oodles of gold in his promises for us in his Work Manual. It helps give us ultimate love for each other. It’s your call. If you know of a better way to get to know what the real-deal dinky-di love in your heart is, let me know, because our world has squillions of blokes desperately ready for new hearts and real love.

Don’t mess it up

 

I know you want the best in your intimacy. Don’t mess it up. Your quality time in bed together and its beauty and amazement builds from the smallest things. Once you appreciate each other’s love language and needs, don’t waste important minutes doing things that don’t count. 

Team tips from the Big Fella

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10–12 ESV)

Max's Story

Max's Story - We started dating when I was 19, and it was lust, not love, that drove me to persist when we had dramas with her family. Her parents were very strict but they allowed me to take her to church. I only went so I could spend more time with her. My persistence paid off. We got married 3 years after we first started dating.

Listen to your heart

Listen to your heart Think about a breakdown in what was once a love relationship that started in 2 hearts. One partner makes a choice to lock down their heart, and the relationship is immediately in big trouble. Sometimes one can’t take the tough and hardened heart of the other anymore, and it’s soon all over.

What about you, champion?

What about you, champion? Blokes, contrary to what society has trained in us, imposed upon us, or passed down to us such as, ‘toughen up princess’, or ‘take a spoonful of cement and toughen up’, or ‘big boys don’t cry’, it’s OK to have a red-hot look at your heart and see what hurts are in there.

Champions learn to love themselves

Champions learn to love themselves Champion, do you love YOURSELF? It’s a bit hard to love someone else if you’re always bashing yourself or putting yourself down. In my earlier years I probably had the other problem: I loved myself too much. Well, that’s what I was constantly told. ‘Ian, you love yourself, you’re up yourself.’ The Big Fella loves us and he wants us to love ourselves. Take care if you are bashing yourself with thoughts of negative self-esteem or even worse, self-hatred. If you see yourself as inadequate or inferior it’s time you stopped believing the lie.

A story from a bloke I met at a #shednight

A story from a bloke I met in a #shednight For many years I guess I took my wife for granted. This probably goes back to how I saw my father relate, or rather not relate, to my mother. There were issues in my childhood home that I just couldn’t seem to overcome. My childhood was a dark place of physical and sexual abuse, violence and despair. I even thought of ending it. Many times I prayed to a God I didn’t know for it to end.

Where it all begins

Where it all begins I’ve found that most of the time it’s the little things that make a difference in a marriage. But when no-one gives us any helpful tips, we blokes learn from and react to what we see and experience in the home and community in which we grow up. In lots of cases, we are exposed to painful and undeserved things in childhood that influence us as well.

Howdy, champion!

Howdy, champion! How’s your journey? Are you cruising along, or in a battle? Are you on cruise control, or had to drop down a gear to tackle a bit of heavy going?

Confrontation and Being Accountable

I struggle with confronting people, being confronted and the concept of being held accountable and holding a friend accountable, but both appear to have a place in many churches these days and they could be considered central themes in the story of David and Nathan (2 Samuel 11:1-12:25). 

Champions are turbocharged by a word

A great promise from the Bible is: ‘Christ gives me the strength to face anything’ (Philippians 4:13). I, Watto, champion son of the King, can do all things through Jesus the bloke who gives me the spine to do them. If you belong to the Big Fella, you can say that too, with your name in the space. How good is that?

Champions stand for something

Champions stand for something Who or what am I trying to please? The real-deal you becomes satisfied as you pursue a right life. We begin to cruise and those around us will appreciate us for who we are, and they will comment about our ‘presence’. What is our security in the walk of a champion? Where or what is it? Are we trying to compete with someone or something? What and who do we stand for? Why do we do what we do? These answers we uncovered to give us freedom, and now we can encourage those around us in all areas of their life.

Giving and Learning to Receive

Learning to receive When I resigned from the comforts of my office job and was awaiting the settlement of buying my first truck, things came to a thud one day. I needed a quick $3,000 cash to take me over this month of transition. I had no job and no income so I had no credit rating, even though we owned our family home. How humbling. No cashflow. That dented my ego. I mentioned it in front of a young plumber mate, not thinking for one moment that he would be able to help me out of my dilemma. Something happened I could never forget. My friend had a chat to his wife and they came to our rescue. They produced the $3,000 cash and gave it to me without condition other than love. This was a huge moment in my life.

Outgiving the Giver

Outgiving the Giver For most men, when we think of giving, most likely we first think of money – the dosh, the doh ray me. The cash! Well, what if you haven’t got much or any money? You’ve probably heard the saying that God loves a cheerful giver. Are you cut out of that? Definitely not! But if we haven’t got it, how can we give it? We can sort that out. Give the other things that are usually worth more than silver and gold.

Sex - Love - Lust

Have you discovered internet porn – and is it sucking the guts out of your life? Do the blokes at your work bring porn to the office or the job site? Are you plagued by guilt and shame about things that happened in the past? Do you just want to love a woman and be loved by a woman? Fellas, we can clean out the past and become the real-deal! Don’t miss this one!

Good anger and bad anger

Good anger and bad anger Jesus the Champion of champions got angry, not for himself but because his Father’s place of prayer and worship was being misused as a shopping centre. He threw around the tables one day and drove everybody out of there.